About

This is a blog that exists because everywhere I post I’ve made the mistake of friending people or telling family that this is my blog.  And suddenly, that freedom of expression is utterly hindered and I’m not the girl I want to be.  I’m not airing anything.  I’m tapdancing around what is bright neon and aching inside me and sucking it up and watching it float around in my circulatory system, changing me instead of being here, changing the world.

Everyone needs a new place, a fresh start, now and again.

All you need to know:

I like to cuss.  Curse.  Randomly, without purpose, but with sincerity.
I do not believe in narrative cohesion or editing in personal blogging.
I am an Aquarius.
I am employed.
I am 25.
I am emotionally unready for the things I want.
I use the pronoun I more than any other word in my writing.

I don’t want to meet anyone.

I want to meet everyone and have drinks with you on this open-air piazza on Capri with the air swirling and the sea lapping and the sun sleepy and drawing up the sheet of the horizon.  I want to look in your eyes and read the manufacturer’s imprint.  I want to make you laugh and intrigued and go home and sleep deeper and more secure in your heart than you have in your life.
I desire love under conditions that are unlikely to occur with people who are unlikely to appear.
I have troubles.
I probably don’t behave in a manner that would be most conducive to my happiness.
I consider myself an empath and sometimes I find it a huge liability.   Sometimes I find it a joy that fills every gap I’ve got.
I do not seek pity.
I’m like every girl you know: secretive, self-loathing, hysterical, jealous,  moody, unpleasant, materialistic, egotistical, narcissistic, and vain.  To start.

I’m not like most girls, you know: I have faith in personal magic. I march and bear and survive.  I forgive and forget.  I am moved by the kindness and success of others.   I find silence more consolatory than most words.  I believe there is goodness and that fact makes much less painful than it might be.   I am happy to serve a cause.  I have an integrity, bowed but yet unbroken.  I have not yet begun to try.